What is the absence of life? Poem

Is white absence of color?

White is absence of color if it is pure.

Yet one is said to be in darkness when dead.

Death has no color if one is gone,

Yet within the grey of white

Life lingers

Do we celebrate nothing?

When we celebrate the dark?

Or do we celebrate something,

When we celebrate white,

White is seen brightest in the light,

Black shadows making objects look smaller.

The grey is the area of forgiveness,

The darkness only comes in an end of ends,

Yet lightning strikes sounding fierce

Showing white and greys calling to life,

Let the soul linger in the light, no end to the end.

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Memories Loss

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A toy sits as a memory of loss

Child or pet the tears in one’s soul is the cost

A song sung tells a story of another

A family member taken

The loss is the same, cannot be mistaken

Where is the healing of the tare?

The counter weight we wear.

The tears do not lessen

The weight within our hearts

When will this heaviness depart?

Shall it be lifted in time?

Or will it be brine?

Salt in the wound continually searing

Heart on my sleeve I will be wearing

Let my souls anguish be heard

With no word spoken

Before my heart becomes a token

For another’s love song

Sung to another

Through lyrics of despair

That makes others shudder.

Souls of all saints they speak easy about

Milling around while others shout,

Trick or treat they say is neat,

Yet to me my heart feels defeat.

How can we rejoice in the loss of another?

Or is this a holiday of disguise

Not from the wise but another?

Nature speaks

Early autumn temps warm as will song a heart

Frogs sing what may be their last lyrics

Leaves giving their fare well in color

Weather being fickle

Not ready to give way its season

Humans relish each moment

Wanting the song and color to last

Camping near the edge with fire

Water and song

Hoping to prolong through memory

Of the twin seasons lullaby

Summer meets autumn

As lovers in a midst

Being partnered with warmth and dew

That plants may still exist

Hallowed are these memories

As lanterns are lit

The treat is in the season

For winter is the trick

Beauty and Power Poem

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Beauty and Power

Beauty and Power come from within

Not how I look but who I am

Telling someone I am good

Showing them is the power

Looking in the mirror

Is an image of me

What others see seeps from my soul

My heart shows the quality

Image is imaginary at times

Who is beneath the surface?

Is who I am

Can you handle my strength?

Or do I have to hide behind the image?

Don’t bring me down Short story

Don’t bring me down:   Short story

There was an old song with the lyrics just seems to suit me and the way I live my life. Don’t bring me down; no bummers keep your negative yammering to yourself. Which seems especially in the work place, it’s hard to do; so many live their lives in such dissatisfaction, not positive reactions to things that happen to them in life. Wearing their hearts on their sleeves is another old saying. I keep my stuff to myself it seems in time things work out just fine, takes planning and a firm decision to live positively.

For example my mom had this habit of telling everyone about her aches and pains, I was appalled she once showed my aunt her caesarian scar from when she had me. I am 30 years old for heaven sake get over it. I told her one time how that embarrassed me; she said that I need to lighten up. Ok I did lighten up I laughed when she fell on ice and told her now she has another scar and tragedy she can obsess over. When my dad left us it hurt me, yet I understood how some men cannot be strong role models because they are weak minded. Mom of course obsessed over what a horrible person he was, she did that for years, and one day I told her if she keeps doing that she will not meet the right guy. This time she seemed to listen, she became a bit more positive like me. Now when she dates she expects him to be gentleman open doors, buy the meals. One day she brought this guy home his name is Max. Mom went on and on about what a great guy Max is, he is such a gentleman. So I decided to go over on a Sunday morning figuring Max spent the night; I made coffee, put bacon in the oven; less messy that way, I was sure the aromas would waft up the stairs. Sure enough first one down and fully dressed I might add was Max, smiling and said “Good Morning you must be Paul?” He reached out his hand to shake mine; I wanted to see what he was made of so I squeezed hard. He squeezed back, so I squeezed harder. When mom came down stairs we must have looked like we were arm wrestling. She told me to knock it off, I did, Max did not he just grinned held for a few more beats then released.

I said to Max soft enough so mom would not hear “That was uncalled for, holding for an extra beat.”

Max slapped me on the back and said “Oh stop whining and Man up”

My mom heard what he said turned to me and said “See Paul I told you he was special.”

Ok so mom has an asshole for a boyfriend let’s see how long this lasts. You see I do not get upset, I know in due time this too shall pass.

I work in a warehouse store, managing the electronics department. It was a Tuesday when Max came into the store he was looking for a new TV, we chatted over the pros and cons of each brand we had in stock, at the end of a half hour he made his purchase and then invited me to a barbeque at his house Saturday night, told me I could bring a date.

I have been dating the same girl for a year her name is Christine. When I asked Christine if she would want to go she said yes, she asked me what Max did for a living, I laughed and said I did not know. That surprised her, she asked me why I did not know because this man seems to be important to your mom; she said I should take an interest; it is the right thing to do. She was right, I guess I figured it would not last so when we went Saturday I asked Max what he did for a living, he smiled and said he is a retired Marine Cornel and is now a consultant for industry wanting to help in reconstruction efforts.

Ok I have to admit that impressed me. As the evening progressed I notice Christine talking to one of Max’s friends a bit too much. I am not the jealous type but this started to annoy me. I walked up to her and asked if she wanted another drink, she said “No thank you Mike has been keeping my glass full.”

I whispered in her ear “Hey your with me remember?”

She replied “I know; you are not jealous are you?”

So I stood silently not wanting to make a scene while this guy came onto my girl, till finally I spoke up “Hey Mike why didn’t you bring a date.”

Mike said “I was hoping to meet someone here, and so I did.”

I said “She is with me!”

He said “Let her decide who she is with.”

At that Christine leaned towards Mike ever so slightly and said to Mike “Looks like I am going to need a ride home.”

Mike smiled and said “No problem darling.”

I started to leave the back yard, so pissed off I did not see the cement bench which caught my left leg, sent me flying into the bushes, my foot had caught a leg of the bench when I went down I heard a snap.

Max came over as I was groaning that I think I broke my leg he laughed and said “Oh come on man up this will give you something to be positive about.”

It took me a while to get over Christine especially when I found out her and Mike got married. So I am still positive but a bit more understanding. It will take time for me to trust a girl so now I get why my mom moaned about my dad leaving. I did have a sit down with Max and he admitted my mom told him a few things about me. We agreed not to be so hard on each other and if I needed to talk let him know. Mom and Max got married yesterday, I met a nice girl at their wedding she is Max’s niece her name is Sabrina.

Paradise from Hell

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Paradise from Hell

I live in a section of town which has a beautiful park, large fountain in the center near the restrooms; the park is surrounded by modest homes and condos. I live in one of the condos; I see trees and hear the fountain which really is a beautiful sound while sitting on my modest patio. One morning soon after my husband left me to be with his secretary, I was sitting outside with a hot cup of coffee, it was the first official day of Autumn the trees had not yet turned except for a few who started to get a tinge of yellow. The smell of dry leaves and the rustling sound when they skipped along their way, squirrels skittering hoping to gather enough resources for the winter months. This to me is a special dance that nature coordinates each season giving us humans a chance to participate or hunker down. Normally I hunker down, the cold seeps within my inner core I get a chill that will not quit, darkness stays around much too long in the mornings, and arrives much too soon in the evening. Yet this little corner of town is my paradise, I have a hint of the country while living in a city. I have decided to take on something that has been haunting me, walk alone through the park. To some this may seem no big deal, I see many people walking singularly seeming to meander and enjoying the solitude not wanting to share these precious moments with anyone. I myself am a bit skittish believing there is a boggy man behind every bush. I will conquer this today.

After setting my coffee cup in the sink, I downed myself with walking shoes, a sweatshirt, jeans, my purse, I plan on walking the entire path which loops around the perimeter of the park and intertwines   within the center meeting at the fountain. The toughest one will be the perimeter, most people seem to prefer the loops which intertwine, then congregate at the fountain. Which means very little pedestrians walking the perimeter leaving me alone so I will start there right from my patio my steps start quickly as if I am escaping but I slowly calm myself and find I am enjoying things I cannot see from my patio.

I was so absorbed with watching the squirrels and chipmunks chattering and running around I did not notice anyone approach, he went by me quickly I jumped about two feet off the ground he had his dog with him they were jogging.

At that particular moment the wind picked up the trees made creaking sounds as the leaves rustled, something touched my cheek, again I nearly flew out of my skin but it was only a leaf which stuck to my hair in its decent. Making it a quarter of the way around shrugging off my resent startling’s I notice a small building resembling a shed, it had a window which was open, an overhang that  could be considered an awning, carefully I walked up and heard a muffled whimper. My first instinct was to run; it might be a sick raccoon or skunk; my new resolve was to take on this park so I inched ever so closely, just as I came around the corner something leaped at me and clung to my face. Black squirrel had been groaning over some acorns another squirrel ran off with. It seemed like the squirrel clung to me forever yet in a moment he was gone. I stood trying to catch my breath; berating myself about the old saying first impressions are the best and listen to them. Well I survived that with a mere scratch I am determined to finish this loop. Half way around the perimeter I was back to enjoying my surrounds, admiring the sumac which was changing colors, the hedge ran quite a ways not giving way to any path or opening as I was nearing the end of the hedge something ran across my foot, I halted and held my breath as the skunk turned and looked at me then continued it’s run because right behind it was the dog that had been jogging with his master, I hear the master calling his name “Butch leave it! Butch stop!” around the edge of the hedge the owner came trying to grab Butches lead which was dragging behind him. The lead came close to my foot so I stomped on it; hoping to hold it long enough for Butches owner to grab it; all it did was take me off my feet and landed me on my ass. It did actually give the owner a chance to grab the leash, drag Butch back before he got sprayed, yet you could smell the stench just the same. Butch came and nuzzled my ear wondering if I was ok, his owner squatted down to help me up apologizing and asking if I were ok. I was rattled but ok. I continued my walk with no further incident. I have to admit I was glad I went, but from now on I will enjoy Paradise from my patio, and resist the urge to visit hell again.

Misanthrope Short story Fiction

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Misanthrope

Many call him the old grump whether they live next door to him or just run into him at the grocery store, he is always in a foul mood, seems to hate mankind.

His normal routine is to open his front door first thing in the morning to get his paper, that is what starts his day’s mood, if the paper is as it should be on his porch he considers it a good thing if not he loudly complains to no one in particular how inconsiderate and stupid the paper person is.

Next is his coffee, he takes his paper and his coffee into the bathroom sits and does his business in peace and quiet. When his wife was alive she would be appalled at this practice, so he would close the door so as not to hear her complaints. Since she has been gone for 10 years he has enjoyed this moment without a discouraging word.

After he is finished he resumes his day with his paper under his arm, walks to the local diner for some breakfast. Bad weather would not dissuade him in his mind mankind has gotten too soft. Marge the waitress has known him for 20 years; they get frisky now and then; well that was before she found the one as she calls him. No way can he be the one, in Joe’s mind the guy is a wimp who knows nothing about the world, or how a man should be.  

Curmudgeon could be a word to describe Joe, also misanthrope he really does dislike people. Joe doesn’t trust to many people, on a rare occasion he may actually will talk to someone, you will never hear him greet anyone with a good morning, or how are you. Joe wants to be left alone.

Many speculate that he may still be grieving the loss of his wife; others say he has been this way all his life. Joe is the topic of many conversations, people reach out to him and he verbally slaps their hands for trying.

Until one day when Joe was walking to have breakfast, he noticed a man shoving a young woman; Joe walked up and asked if the young man was brain dead. The man looked at Joe and told him to fuck off. Joe laughed and said “That shows you have lack of brain cells using such language when speaking to your elder”

At that the man took a swing at Joe; Joe stepped back and the fist missed him. Joe took advantage of the man’s footing being off center and gave him a shove. The man fell into the street and was hit by a car. The young woman screamed, “Oh God what did you do to my husband.”

Joe replied “Guess he was put in his place, no man should raise his hand to a woman.”

The woman looked at Joe and said “I am used to it, seems Mike was no different from my dad.”

Joe said “Then you need to learn how to defend yourself, and like yourself.”

The bystanders were amazed not only at the death of the man, but the fact Joe stopped to help this woman and the tender words he said to her.

Joe’s neighbor asked Joe “Say Joe, I think this is the first time I heard you speak and give a hand.”

Joe said “In the past if I tried to help, people wanted more, or when I would give my opinion they would scoff, why should I bother.”

After the police left Joe continued with his day and breakfast at the diner

 

The leaf

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The leaf

Walking out the door on an autumn morning is a pleasure before work, leaves rustle and crisp sounds delight the hearing as the warming of the sun delight the sense of smell. Rose enjoyed fall with a passion, remembering as a little girl her dad would rake leaves leaving the pile just long enough for her to get tired of flopping around on it with her dog Spike.

This morning Rose decided to walk to work, she left the house a half hour early to give her plenty of time; she could always hitch a ride home with a co-worker since 3 of them are her neighbors. Or even call her husband Mike to pick her up on his way home, but that would mean she would have an hour to kill before he got off work, not a problem there was a couple of shops she liked meandering around in near her work, one was a used bookstore, she had been waiting for a particular book called Bones, Carly the owner of the bookstore called said she would hold the book for 48 hours giving her time to get there and purchase it.

Rose’s job was simple; she basically was a secretary, gofer at an insurance agency. This particular day was pleasant from the start; it flew by, before she knew it her co-workers had left, two of which left early because the day was so beautiful. Rose called her husband he agreed to pick her up and even suggested instead of making dinner they would go out to eat. Yes, a perfect day all around is what Rose was thinking when she walked into that bookstore. Her and Carly had so much in common both being book junkies, music junkies,  they could possibly talk the full hour, Rose had told her husband Mike to pick her up at the bookstore.

Walking into Bookworm used books, Carly’s register was at the door,  where she could face those browsing the books, there was a large window which lit a good portion of the store. Carly was swamped so Rose pitched in by manning the register while Carly helped people find what they wanted, for this Carly said Rose could have the book for free. Yes, another plus to a perfect day.

Things started to finally slow down and Carly was walking to the register, Rose seen the alarm in Carly’s face but did not have time to tell Rose to run. The car came through the window with a roar of the engine, hitting Rose propelling her over the counter into a bookshelf which toppled on top of her. You could hear a man scream Rose’s name, Mike came running into the store joined the others trying to pull the books and shelving off his wife Rose.

Rose was face down her body was between the dividers of the shelving unit, just when Mike was about to roll Rose over a woman said “Do not move her let me assess her first, I am a doctor, please do not move her.”

Mike and Carly stood in suspended horror waiting for this woman to check and see if anything was broken as the woman slowly and carefully with the help of a paramedic and a body board turned Rose over; Rose groaned. Relief filled Mike and Carly, Rose is still alive. The Doctor spoke to Rose in a quiet tone “What is your name dear?”

“Rose”

“Do you know what day it is?”

“Yes, Monday, what happened?”

“There has been an accident; a car came through the window.”

“I think I am alright, let me try and sit up.”

“Honey I would rather you not till we get some X rays please lie still.”

By now Mike had pushed his way so he could be next to Rose as they put her in the ambulance, he said to her “Rose I love you, I will be at the hospital as soon as I can get there.”  “Rose called back “I love you too!”

The person who was driving the car was taken to the hospital as well; a male in his 60’s died of a heart attack.

Mike came into the emergency entrance and was directed to bay 4, as he entered he seen Rose sitting up, a bit shaken and bruised, had stitches in one arm  a cut from glass, they said she suffered a concussion and watch her for 24 hours, they were optimistic saying she would be ok.

Mike and Rose did go out to have a light dinner, Rose was in no mood to linger she had a headache that seemed to be getting worse, all she could think about was going home and going to bed. Mike told her he would wake her every hour just to be sure she was ok. Mike did this until 4am when he fell asleep, he awoke to the alarm at 7am, in a panic realizing he fell asleep he went to Rose to wake her. Rose did not wake up.

2 short stories

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Being yourself:  Short story fiction

Throughout his 30 years there were very few people who understood his need for intimacy, not just sex, but something deeper. When he reached adolescents his peers said he was gay that sex was what it was about not all the added feelings. Yet the girls liked him just fine, except mostly as a guy friend not a boyfriend. When he met Samantha he thought for sure he met the one, till death do you part one. Their marriage lasted 4 years, till she met a construction worker who drank and rode a motorcycle, it seems Samantha became bored with the mundane, slow love making, flowers, lovely dinners, serenading. You see Luke had a beautiful voice could play the piano or guitar. He loved to serenade Samantha. Instead she left with her new love on his thunderous stead never to be seen again, leaving him to file for divorce.

The women at work decried what a horrible person Samantha was not appreciating his sweetness. He knew they would probably be bored with him if they were married. Yet, as a romantic, he wanted to try again. This time instead of meeting someone at church as he did Samantha, Luke decided to go to a bar, not just any bar, but a well-known pick up bar, the guys called it the meat market, the actual name was Meet at Mikes.

Changing his appearance as not to draw undue attention he bought himself some faded Levis, pairing it with a Henley shirt, tennis shoes. His normal attire was a bit too formal for this venue, being it, dress slacks and shirt; he was most comfortable in. He felt out of sorts in jeans, but this was going to be breaking out and being a bit crazy, you want danger from Luke this is as dangerous as it gets.

He also decided not to go for the girl next door look, he wanted a bit more spice to his next love maybe he can learn something from her.

Sitting at the bar he ordered a beer, which was another thing he was not accustomed to he preferred wine. Trying to relax himself, concentrating on his breathing, speaking to every muscle and nerve ending, “Relax, and enjoy yourself this will be fun” Third time running through his head is when a tall brunette walked up to the bar and sat next to him and ordered a Margarita, she did not look his way but the bartender seemed to know her, he smiled and said “Hey Terry” She replied “Hey Mike, busy tonight I see?”

Mike leaned in and they chatted quietly, then walked away to tend to customers at the end of the bar.

I was looking directly at her, noticing a tattoo peeking beneath the sheer blouse she wore, skin tight black jeans. She was very attractive, and would look good even without all the makeup.

Taking a breath he spoke to her “Hi, Terry my name is Luke.”

Her smile was enchanting, eyes twinkled as she said “Hey Luke, is this your first time here.”

Nodding he said “Yes, I thought I would risk something beyond my comfort zone.”

She laughed and said “Oh your out for risky business?”

He blushed and said “Not really, just thinking my good guy life has become routine and does not seem to work for me.”

As they chatted they shared the pit falls of relationships, hers was a long term and his marriage. By the end of the night they shared, stories of growing up, pizza and plenty of alcohol. Neither drove to the bar, so they shared a taxi ending up the evening at her place.

As they shared the second time around in her bed, the door opened, and so did the firing of a gun. Both were gone with one shot because he was on top, it went through and through.

Luke wanted something different, Samantha wanted Terry, seems Samantha did not want to have Mike’s brother Dave; she had wanted Terry all along. Samantha decided that if she could not have Terry no one could. Samantha figured that even if she got caught it would be worth it, she was done being the nice girl who goes to church every Sunday.

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All things point to you

She walked slowly along the beach remembering meeting him when he was working as a life guard in the summer using the money to put himself through college along with his second job working nights at the local Home Depot. He was the first to strike up a conversation as she walked by, the memory still made her blush.

He said “Hey beautiful do you know your suit has a hole in it, I am not complaining, from what I can see it is quite nice.”

She rushed to the bath house to check, sure enough right on the left cheek of her suit, realizing it must have happened when her suit snagged on the seat of a picnic table. Berating herself how she could be so stupid, wrapping the towel around her she decided to call it a day. Coming out of the woman’s room, he was standing there looking tan and sexy, arms crossed leaning against the wall fully dressed.

Again he was the first to speak “Hey I did not mean to embarrass you, please let me buy you lunch before I go to my next job.”

She was looking down and away when he first spoke, she turned her head slightly up and towards him to see if she could tell what he was really thinking. His eyes were sincere, with just a hint of mischief, and she could not fault him for that, had she been in his shoes she would had found humor in the situation as well.

Mustering courage she agreed to have lunch. They met at the Olive Garden, spent over an hour talking and sharing. They had so much in common, the biggest difference is her parents could afford to send her through college, where as he had to pay his own way. He did not seem jealous of the fact, instead he said; when he had kids he would want them to do the same. He felt it built character. She agreed to have him over for a late pizza and beer at her place. The rest of the summer flew by; both parents were in favor of the relationship cautioning them not to rush into anything wanting them to wait till they got out of school. She was nearly done with her teaching degree; he had a ways to go becoming a doctor. The way they figured it she could get a teaching job to help with his tuition, he could go to school year round. So they eloped, told the parents who were resigned to the fact they were now married, not bothering to admonishing them, in fact helped financially as best they could that first year.

Taking a week off that following summer before he went to do his residency at the local hospital they went to the beach where they met. Laying in the sun enjoying the time together, a woman’s scream reached them with such urgency, his background as a life guard and now going onto being a doctor, he got up and ran to the woman, she pointed to the water, said she could not swim but her son of 7 went too far, he could not swim either.

She stayed with the woman to comfort her, they watched in horror when the Jet Ski went by he was coming out of the water holding her son when the impact took them down. Neither recovered from their injuries she stayed friends with the boy’s mother both grieving in their own way, she came here weather permitting walking the beach reminiscing her husbands touch.

Unsuspected surprise

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Unsuspected surprise

She heard a noise coming from down stairs, climbing out of bed forgetting to put her glasses on she went to her bedroom door to listen. Realizing it was not a dream but there was movement in the lower level of her house she went to her closet to get her weapon of defense, her bat, she was trained well with this bat, how to yield it and yet keep it away from an attacker. Self-defense was the only way she felt safe living alone the class was well worth the hefty price.

Slowly descending the stairs it dawned on her she did not hear her shepherd bark, nor hearing clickty clack of her toenailed paws. Her heart went to her throat considering all the possibilities. Calming herself to enable her to concentrate she continued her descent till she found herself at the base of the stairs. Holding her breath listening to the movement coming from her kitchen, she tip toed ever so quietly, nearing the entrance to the kitchen she pressed her body against the wall hoping not to move the large picture hanging on it.

Just as she was ready to lean in to take a peek a shadow passed the kitchen entrance then a foot emerged, she took a swing, a hand caught the bat mid swing, it took her by surprised still hanging onto the bat she was propelled off her feet and swung bringing her towards the one holding onto her bat. Kicking and screaming, she heard “Honey relax I was only trying to surprise you.”

It took a few beats of her heart to realize the voice was that of her husband, he had been stationed in Iraq for 3 years.

Tears near hysteria gripped her as she reached for him wrapping her legs and arms around him hanging on tightly feeling silly and giddy all at the same time.

Finally calming herself enough to relax and enjoy his loving advances, they hungrily tasting each other, till both were naked and spent on the floor, with Clancy looking on. They were both sure Clancy was critiquing their technique being that dogs invented that position.

The aroma of coffee made them thirsty and hungry all at the same time, not bothering with their clothes John, Millie’s husband went up the stairs to retrieve her glasses, she poured the coffee, using her thumb in the cup so it would not over flow. Placing her glasses on her face, she started breakfast. After they had eaten they again made love.

Millie was leaning over retrieving her pajamas when John took the first swing. She went down like a sack of potatoes, Clancy moved in to protect Millie, only to be taken down as quickly as Millie. Sadly John had fallen in love with someone he was stationed with, he came home quietly, then retreated after cleaning up the condoms they used, his fingerprints he was not worried about, doing the dishes putting things in order, leaving Millie naked on the floor next to her trusty dog Clancy.

A month later, John came home to find that his wife was murdered by an intruder.