FEMA Chapter 9

toliet paper2

Well Jasper is under control he has actually taken his grump down a notch. I am getting the swing of things being a wife and now co-owner in Logger Depot, the regulars are now calling me the Misses, which is kind a nice. I still get my regular Friday FEMA meetings to be with the girls which are in rare form tonight, Sue is a bit unnerved one of our new Patron’s his name is Ron is paying undue attention to Sue even though she told him in no uncertain terms she was not interested.

He sends drinks, which she sends back she says she does not want to encourage his attention by accepting drinks, when she gets up to go to the lady’s room, play pool, put money in the Juke box he follows her and tries to start up a conversation. She repeats her mantra “Ron, I do not want to hurt your feelings, I am not dating, I will not be dating, please leave me alone.”

Well the FEMA team came up with a plan to put a damper on his need to constantly follow Sue around the place. Sue will turn and talk to him the next time he walks up to her, we plan this as Sue is coming out of the lady’s room Ron will invariably walk up to talk to her, she will say something different to keep his attention, try to turn him so his back is to the restrooms. That is where Ruth comes in, she will come up behind Ron quietly, put a six foot length of toilet paper into his waist band, also a three foot length of toilet paper attached to his shoe.

I am sure the other patrons will notice when Ron walks back to his stool at the bar. Indeed they did the laughter started slowly, comments started to fly such as, “Hey Ron if you are trying to save money just ask Tony for a roll of toilet paper to take home with you he is a generous kind of guy.”

My favorite was

“Hey Ron how much paper did you think you need to wipe your ass.”

That was the remark that made Ron turn and look behind him; he found the toilet paper stuck in his pants and his shoe. He turned and looked at the FEMA table, we sent him a drink and nodded it was us.

He accepted the drink and the fact Sue was not interested.

Yes you may be saying we were hard on the guy, although you might be right, but if we do not demand respect from our fellow men they will continue to step over the boundaries.

Now the problem arose Saturday when Sue went grocery shopping; Ron approached her and told her loudly “I do not appreciate you humiliating me like that at the bar.”

Sue stood her ground and said “I do not appreciate it when I have told you multiple times in a nice way that I was not interested in dating you or anyone else.”

By this time someone called the police station and Kyle was dispatched, walking in he could see and nearly hear the conversation, when he got closer he heard Ron say “I am not done with you.”

Kyle approached and said “Sir are you threatening this woman?”

Ron turned looked at the name tag, looked at Sue,  Sue then said “Kyle this is Ron, he is having a hard time understanding that I do not want to date him, and Ron this is my son if you have a problem with me you take it up with him.”

That finally gave Ron an attitude adjustment.


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