FEMA Chapter 11

FEMA Chapter 11

We are having one of our FEMA meetings and enjoy actually a subdued quiet time if you can believe that. Nothing going on with us just enjoying each other’s company; then it happens our attention goes to the back corner of the place, large table which accommodates 10 people all guys, they have only been here a half hour yet have consumed more than we have been her 2 hours. We are figuring they are light weights. Turns out it is a bachelor party; I recognize 3 out of the 10 at the table as local boys who come here on occasion.

One in particular who is sitting at the table wants attention. Everyone look at me I am special. Anytime someone goes up and gets a dart game going he gives them his 2 cents, how they should use their arm, too much wrist, not enough wrist; you know the type. He starts in with those playing pool, same darn thing.

FEMA crew is wondering why none of the guys are not putting him in his place, so I walk up to the bar to get us girls another round and ask Tony, he says “this is a bachelor party that is the groom, they are giving him the night and attention he wants, my guess is he is not a drinker, just a blow hard when he drinks.”

Ok so I take this information to the FEMA group, we all agree he needs an attitude adjustment.  Joy is great at pool so is Val and Ruth, so they start a game up, I walk over to one of the guys who I know is a local, since he came to the bar to buy a round for the table, I ask him “So Ted who is your friend there?”

He turns and looks at me like I was speaking Spanish but answers “ That ass is engaged and is about to marry my sister, Catherine.”

I volleyed my response back to him “Well I am thinking he needs an attitude adjustment.”

He smiled and said “I was hoping; that is why I suggested to bring him here for his bachelor party.”

The kids name is Allen who I was speaking too; his sister is a sweet thing named Melisa.

Joy saunters up to the pool table as does, Ruth and Val, chalk’s her cue and racks the balls, leans in gives it the first whack. Blow hard which we found out his name is Morgan  meanders over like he is disinterested, and says to Joy, “ Now darling you need to bring your elbow down a bit.” As he said this as he slowly moves forward.

Her response was priceless “If you are thinking about getting up close and personal and show me how it is done, I will shove this cue stick so far up your skrotum you will look like a gay pole dancer.”

Applause from the regulars, especially the best man and brother of the bride: I believe we need to have a talk with the bride.

I went the next day took some roses to the house I know her mom; Lola answered the door, I said “Hey Lola these roses are for Melisa I was wondering if she was home.”

Lola said guardedly “Yes she is Christine, how did you find out about the engagement?”

I answered “Allen had the bachelor party at the Logger Depot, I got a glimpse of the groom, I might say that she could do better, was hoping to have her come down for a bachelorette party at the Logger’s tonight on the house think you can arrange that?”

That sparked her interest; ha I am not such a bad penny when they need something.


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