Don’t Move the Furniture Chapter 3

Don’t Move the Furniture

Chapter 3 Monday Madness

As I walked into my kitchen on Monday I started to take stock of everything that happened since Marie passed 2 years ago.

Day of the funeral my daughter Connie was so distraught she had an asthma attack. They could not revive her. We buried her next to her mother 3 days later. Brent, Connie’s finance was so distraught at the funeral he screamed obscenities at God. Left the cemetery. The police report stated there was alcohol involved when he hit the tree. We buried him next to Connie 3 days later.

My son Connor was a bulwark of faith and strength. He got that trait from his mother. Marie had a way about her, which calmed the retarded teenager in me. Early in our marriage, she watched me wind myself up about something as trivial as the yapping neighbors dog. Before I had a chance to plot the little rat canines death Marie had me planning what color to paint the kitchen or what tree to plant near the azaleas.

I am not good on my own. I will admit I am a better man due to Marie’s gentle and kind heart. Proof that I am not 100% rehabilitated my latest Neanderthal adolescent acting out.

I realized this morning I have feelings for Paula. Realistically being nearly 20 years her senior would not be good, for her. What I can do is set her up with someone I believe is good enough for her. Being she is independent in thought and deed my planning and execution will have to be stealth

Any of Connor’s associates are out of the question, unlike Connor they are ambulance chasing minions.

Rick Nagel would be my choice. X navy seal, paramedic. Manly enough to go toe to toe with Paula. Heart of gold. Good friend to our family. He took care of Connie and did his best to save her. Also was with us when we were informed about Brent’s accident.

With Rick I will be straight about my intentions, to be sure he would be interested. I picked up the phone chatted with Rick, we made arrangements to meet for coffee so I could give him the low down on Paula.

We sat chatting for awhile. Rick is good at what he does I had no idea I talked for an hour about myself, how I was doing, my antics, Paula when I finished I sat staring across at Rick and said: “You son of a bitch you got me doing the whining little bastard routine.”

Rick laughed and said “Really? And you do not feel any better?

I nodded and said, “I do it did help sort out a few more compartments in my baggage.”

After paying we agreed the best approach is for Rick to accompany me to the activities building on the premise that I was showing him around.

We walked in the front door and I burst out laughing. Someone had moved all the furniture. Paula was standing with her hands on her hips turned her head to look at me. I raised my hands in surrender and said: “I didn’t do it I have an alibi.”

Rick played along “I can only attest to the last 4 hours.”

She smiled nodded looked directly at Rick, he did his handsome grin. Paula walked over for introductions. Her hand was out to Rick as she introduced herself. Rick did his part and held the hand for a count. Now that is out of the way I asked Paula “Do we have any suspects?”

She looked at me and said “Copycat in all areas of your escapades.”

I raised my eyebrow and said, “Excuse me?”

Paula had a twinkle in her eyes but kept a straight face “Seems Mel decided to date one of your X conquests Martha. Seems she is a bit of an exhibitionist now that you showed her the initial thrill.”

Oh, I smiled thinking I could show Paula the same thrill and said: “How can you be so sure it was Mel and Martha?”

Paula said “Because at Breakfast the whole place was in a twitter about what they saw on their way to the dining area. Martha without even a blush proudly said ‘Instead of criticizing you should all try it!’ Mel swaggered in leaned over and gave Martha a wet kiss.”

I shook my head and burst out laughing. I never figured Mel had it in him. Guess I was wrong about Martha as well. Rick did not show much of what he was thinking. He stood quietly and listened to the banter back and forth between Paula and I. Finally he broke his silence and said: “Maybe this facility needs a designated activities room for adult entertainment.”

Paula and I both laughed I said: “Oh what could go wrong?”

Paula still laughing said “Oh the liability when one of the women get pregnant.”

We all stood laughing when one of the residents came up with a stern look on her face and said “You all are a disgrace. This is not a laughing matter. This needs to be dealt with I am offended by this behavior!”

I leaned over gave Lucy a peck on the cheek and said “Oh sweetheart I remember those brownies you baked for me. Do not stand there being spiritually superior.”

Well, that put an end to her complaints. Paula looked at me and said “And on top of everything else do I have a dealer in this place? I feel as though this is a frat house for heaven’s sake.”

I said “Well I could give you the low down on who has all the sex toys. Mel used to sell them for a living he still has connections. When we set up that special activities room make sure there is a trapeze, handcuffs and such.”

That comment just made her spin on her heels and walk away.

I looked at Rick and said “Sorry I screwed that up I had hoped the conversation would go a little longer.”

Rick said “No problem I will take it from here. I already got the go ahead.”

I know the question was written on my face Rick laughed, shrugged and walked towards Paula. I stood back looking on. Rick leaned over said something quietly to her, she smiled and nodded her head. Rick turned walked up to me gave me a goodbye handshake and took his leave. I stood there dumbfounded.

Now what to do with the rest of the afternoon. I think I should go ask Lucy to bake me some brownies. I could keep her entertained while the brownies were in the oven.

As I was walking out the door in the direction of Lucy’s condo I was confronted by this very elegant looking woman about my age and height for that matter. She had white hair, tanned skin that should have more wrinkles. Eyes the color of the sky. The sight of her made my knees weak. The heck with Lucy I have to find out who this ravishing creature is. I strolled up to her with my best George Hamilton swagger and smile. Reached out my hand to introduce myself. She looked directly at me and said “No introductions needed your famous around here amongst the female residents. I will not shake that hand because I can only guess where it has been tickling. My name is Elizabeth Compton. Don’t you dare call me Liz or any variation.”

I stood there smiling looking directly at her and said “I assure you before and after I dine I always wash my hands”

She actually laughed and said, “Yes you are living up to your reputation as a scoundrel.”

We both just stood there for a moment before I came to my sense’s “May I take you to The Melting Pot Bistro in town for lunch?”

What time would you be picking me up?”

How about right now?”

Oh, my I am not at all presentable for lunch at a Bistro.”

Darlin you are the most ravishing woman I set eyes on. You are more than presentable.”

With that, I put my arm out for her to hold and escorted her to my car. Suave right?

Opening the door of my car, after she settled in I gently closed it walked around the front of the car so she can get a good look at my ever handsome being. I sat down, put my seat belt on put the key in the ignition and said: “How long have you been at Pleasant Ridge?”

She answered “Just little over a week. Moved in after my house sold I decided I did not need to live in a big house with a big backyard all by myself. My husband of 40 years passed away 2 years ago. It took me awhile to let go of the place. It was my dream house. My dream died so it was time for me to leave.”

That sent tears to my eyes I had felt the same way when Marie passed. Just like my dream died. I told Elizabeth what I was thinking. We drove in silence to the Bistro. Now I was hoping we could get back to the congenial conversation after that.

I wasn’t disappointed. Once we were seated the owner of the establishment came over She is also the chef. She told us the specials and asked if we would like wine she then suggested two that would go with what we ordered. After she left the table I looked at Elizabeth she was sipping her wine with such precise delicate moves I said “You really are stunning, and no I do not say that to all the women. I have only said it to one in my life.”

She smiled a sweet sincere smile and said “Thank you it is so kind of you to say. You don’t remind me anything of my husband Joe.”

I laughed out loud and said, “Good because my ego could not take comparisons.”

That made her laugh as well. This Monday is going much better than I expected. After a glass of wine each our meals came. She ordered Shrimp in garlic sauce over penne noodles, I ordered the prime rib sandwich with a salad.

We chatted about ourselves between bites. I learn they had no children. She adopted dogs, trained them and used them as therapy dogs. Her husband was a Veterinarian and a Vietnam vet. I told her what I did and how people naturally assume I am an attorney and how I use it to put people off their game. She said her husband would have liked me. That statement left me wondering if she was ready for a relationship. Once I laid eyes on her I knew I was ready.

After a few times out together, breakfast, lunch, dinner some meals I grilled. Elizabeth asked me just as we were settling in to watch a video we rented. Picture this; she was standing in front of me, the remote in my hand. Looking down at me she asked, “What is wrong with me?”

I was astonished beyond reason. It is rare I have been left wordless. This should be marked on the calendar I did not have any satirical come back. I said, “Nothing is!?”

She pressed her knees against mine and said “The other women in this facility said you were a hound, baying after whatever was under a skirt. Yet you have not made any move in that direction. I am not an exhibitionist I like to keep my crazy private.”

Well, you have to know what all my parts thought about that as I was mulling this over in my mind. I said, “what do you have in mind I was wanting a long term relationship, not a one-night stand.”

She said, “If you do not want to be compared to my first then you will need to get creative.”

By the time she was done saying that in what seemed like one move she had my belt off pants and underwear down around my ankles. Lifted her dress enough to straddle me. Put go juice on me and sat down with pleasure. I am here to accommodate.

We finally disrobed to the bone of nakedness. I turned on the stereo we danced literally cheek to cheek, hip to hip, and the full frontal Monty. From there we danced the dance of demons, not angels. Oh, what a night was a lyric we both sang when we were finished.

After pulling our clothes back on Elizabeth told Me she was going out of town for a few days to visit family.

Morty asked, “Would you like me to drive you?”

Elizabeth said “No. Soon you will meet my family. I have not told them about us yet. I wanted to first decide what we are?”

Morty said, “I hope we are an item.”

Elizabeth said, “ I believe we are and can be more.”

Morty said, “Good then we are on the same page.”

Elizabeth went for her purse and Marty said: “Aren’t you staying?”

Elizabeth answered “I need to sleep in my own bed so I can be rested for the trip. I will be gone for 3 days do you think you can behave till I get back?”

I laughed and said I would give it my best shot.




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