Stepping over the threshold Chapter 6
My Christmas was a mixed gift. I still miss my parents they have been with the angels for 5 years. I wish they could see me now, moving forward becoming more the person they had hoped I would become. Milly and I are making a life for ourselves in Harrison Michigan. My goal is by the end of this coming year I will have a little nest egg set aside. I was proud of myself for going to a Christmas Party with Michelle and Frank and I was thrilled to see Nick and Lori there. I spent part of the evening with my friends who introduced me to Scott Pierce. Scott is an instructor at MSU he teaches Criminal Justice and Forensics. Nick knows Scott from the time they spent together in the Marine Corp. It took me awhile to notice after Nick and Lori introduced me to Scott they slowly drifted away leaving Scott and I alone to get to know each other. Scott is widowed his wife passed away while he was serving in Kuwait. He knew of my problems with PTSD and Thad being the cause by what Nick told him. I told Scott that I did not think I was ready for a relationship. He told me he thought that I might be ready for a friendship and we would see if it blossomed into a relationship. I was fine with that but I do know how I get when I feel cornered. Something tells me that Scott would understand completely.
Scott and I agreed to meet at the Riverwalk Restaurant in Gladwin for a New Year dinner and from there we would go to a local pub to ring in the new year.
The dinner was amazing we talked about Milly and decided she needed to meet Scotts shepherd Duke. Once at the pub we found a table in the corner, country music was playing loud enough for Scott and me to have a private conversation. It seemed we had a lot to talk about and much in common. Scott told me his first goal was to get me on a snowmobile I laughed at the thought being that my biggest goal in winter is to stay snuggled under a blanket indoors.
Suddenly the music was turned down and the television was turned up. I looked over to see what everyone was staring at. I heard people say “Ass hole was going too fast for the road conditions.”
Another guy said: “Idiot was probably drinking and driving.”
There was a massive accident; the reporter said a driver in a red Toyota truck slammed on the breaks spun out of control causing others to break. Cars are in the median there are wreckers and ambulances on the scene. The person in the Toyota had minor injuries and had been taken into custody for drinking and driving. His name has been released; Thad Parisi.
I looked at Scott and he smiled and said: “Another Christmas Miracle Thad will likely lose his license and quite possibly do some time. You know Brooke eventually you will stop looking over your shoulder and realize you are now in the driver’s seat of your life no longer giving Thad power over you or your emotions.”
I know he is right, in time I will move forward and not look back. Time does heal and love is still possible in my life.
The threshold of the past:
I cling to the threshold
As a child clings to its pacifier
At first not realizing
Growth is the next step
Yet even when I cross that threshold
Growth eludes me
Still clinging to what I thought
Not realizing I was still suckling
Onto what caused me damage
Finally when I released my grasp
Allowing the past to wither away
As a used garment or as
A rite of passage
A sorority of derangement
The purpose of which eludes me
Yet after time, understanding
Clings to wisdom in the knowing
That this experience made me
Who I am
God can use mightily to hold others
With less faith and understanding
Of whom He is
The one who saves you
Sparing not the rod of Learning
But the perils of Death